Everything happens in life. Already no one will be surprised by stories about the betrayal of a close friend or relative, about the betrayal of a wife or husband.
But the person with whom a similar story happened is not ready for such a course of events. For a long time he cannot believe that this happened to him, and then closes his heart from those around him. He no longer believes anyone. It is increasingly difficult for him to communicate, make friends, he is lonely.
It can happen to anyone. Even if it seems to you that you are well versed in people, you are not immune from betrayal or deception. To prevent this from happening, you should be more careful about your environment.
Below is a list of ways to help you understand what a person really is. Perhaps your new (or maybe old) friend is not at all who he claims to be.
10. Tell a person a secret
The easiest way to find out if you can trust a new friend is to tell him a secret. Make up a story and share your “experiences” with it.
If after some time rumors begin to spread about you, you will immediately understand who initiated them. You will have to decide whether to continue communicating with this person.
There are people who do not know how to keep their mouths shut. They can be good friends, they will help in a difficult situation, but you should not trust them with important information regarding your professional activity or personal life.
If the person is pleasant to you, continue to communicate, just remember that now you should keep your mouth shut.
9. Talk about relationships with mutual friends.
Of course, not every person likes to gossip, but if you want to check a person, you have to. Talk about relationships with mutual acquaintances or colleagues if you work together. Listen carefully to what exactly the interlocutor will say about them.
Usually people notice in those around those features that are inherent in themselves or cause a feeling of envy.
If he notices kindness, politeness, emotional stability, it is possible that he possesses these qualities.
If your friend speaks badly of everyone, most likely, he envies them or refers to the type of "eternally displeased" people. Communicating with such a person is very difficult. Be especially careful if he notes pretense for the sake of gain, sneakiness.
8. Take a trip with this person
If you communicate well, there is a more extreme way to find out what he really is. Embark on a journey with him. The more time you spend with a person, the more you recognize him.
He will not be able to pretend around the clock and will certainly betray himself. There will be many opportunities on the trip where you can check your buddy.
If you do not trust him and understand that a person behaves insincerely, this method is better not to use. Trouble can happen, and your friend will not even lend you a helping hand.
7. Pay attention to how a person communicates.
See how your friend behaves with other people. Does he have a large social circle or does he prefer loneliness? Easily converges with people or ignores all sorts of attempts at rapprochement?
It is not difficult to understand what kind of person is in front of you, you just need to watch him a little. Usually people with similar characters find it easier to find a common language.
If your acquaintance or acquaintance is a closed person, likes to stay at home, and you are ready for change, adore adventures and “take everything from life”, you are unlikely to be able to make friends.
6. Borrow money from a person or lend it to him
There is no simpler and more effective method to learn about a person as much as possible. Of course, it is better to never borrow from friends, but change your principles at least once. Moreover, someday you may need financial assistance. In this case, you will know whether you can count on this person.
Ask for a loan. If a friend, without hesitation, lends you, then you can rely on him in difficult times. But do not use his kindness constantly and try to quickly repay the debt.
When a friend has financial problems, offer him help. Better let it be a small amount. If, after the lapse of time, he does not return the money to you, then this means an irresponsible person. It is better not to have any common financial affairs with him.
5. Feel the boundaries
Every person has limits that he will never go beyond. Or will come out only in a critical situation.
When a person tries to establish communication, he does not notice bad qualities, endows his friend or chosen one with virtues that he never had.
Take off the pink glasses. Your business partner may seem pathologically honest, but what happens when he gets the chance to profit at your expense? Will he trade a good relationship for a lot of money?
Also in relationships with the opposite sex. You cannot know for sure how sincere your partner’s feelings are. Maybe he is attracted to your connections or financial situation?
4. Notice the details
You can learn as much as possible about your friend without resorting to extreme methods. You just have to be careful.
When you spend a lot of time together, you see how a person behaves in a casual environment, how he talks on the phone, how he treats animals, what dishes he prefers.
It is especially important if this person is of the opposite sex and you have certain types of him. If he hates dogs, do not hope that after the wedding you can persuade him to a cute puppy. If he orders the same dishes, then he is not inclined to experiment, is quite conservative and does not like changes in life.
3. Pay attention to the attitude of the person to the staff
If you often visit cafes and restaurants, shops, take a look at the behavior of your friend. Pay attention to how he relates to waiters, sellers, administrators of fitness clubs.
If he does not allow himself to be superfluous, polite, then a person is well-brought up. He will never show his superiority and humiliate those who have not achieved a certain position in society.
If he can be rude, naughty, then his parents raised him badly. Perhaps a bad attitude towards the service staff is not the worst thing that he can afford.
2. Evaluate human behavior in a critical situation
Of course, you should not specifically arrange a fire or an attack by bandits. If, nevertheless, a critical situation occurs, look at how your friend is behaving.
If in any other situation a person can dissemble, hide his true face, then at a critical moment he simply will not have time to put on a mask, he will not be up to it.
If your man runs away, flashing his heels, leaving you in danger, it is better to look for someone else.
If a friend, risking his life helps you, appreciate his attitude and never betray your friendship.
1. Observe intonation and body language
Pay attention to intonation and gestures. A person can masterfully lie, but his behavior will still be different from the behavior of an honest person. There is a lot of information about body language on the Internet. Examine it, it will definitely come in handy in your life.
There are several signs that will help to recognize an insincere person: during a conversation, he abruptly changes the subject, makes excuses for no reason, constantly tries to touch his face.
Just do not overdo it, it is not necessary in every person to look for a desire to deceive you. If you pay too much attention to intonation and body language, as well as share your observations with loved ones, people will begin to think that you are developing paranoia.