Most parents do not notice how their children grow up. He wants to dress fashionably, walk until late in the evening, make decisions independently.
This cannot be avoided, each person lived a period of growing up. At this time, communication with parents is usually lost, misunderstanding arises. Some children begin to be ashamed of their parents. Of course, father and mother are very upset, they tried all their lives for the child, and he does this to them.
Do not be upset, worry. First of all, you need to turn off emotions and look at yourself from the side. Maybe you are really imperfect, and the child is not to blame?
In any case, you will have to focus on this problem and solve it. In this article we will analyze 10 situations when children are ashamed of their parents. Perhaps in some you will recognize yourself, understand how to act in order to build relationships with your child.
10. Behave “unusual” compared to other parents
If you are different from the parents of friends and classmates, the child will sooner or later begin to be shy. The reason may be the appearance. Many women (and men too) are trying to get young, they buy fashionable clothes, which they "like a cow saddle."
A child can be ashamed of their parents if they behave unusually: they joke a lot, constantly give advice. He will worry even because of such trifles as an accent, a manner of conversation.
Moreover, in most cases, he does not make any difference to the parents of classmates. He does not pay attention to them, even if they are not like the rest of the parents.
If such a problem occurs in your family, try to make contact, talk with your child. If you really behave strangely or look unusual, maybe it's time to reconsider your behavior?
If the reasons are far-fetched, try to calm your child, tell him about your growing up, about similar situations in your life.
9. Ward over
The problem of many mothers who do not want to understand that the child has grown. Before you is almost an adult. No one offers you to leave a teenager unattended. But only if the child went outside, and you shout to him: "Kitty, you forgot to put on mittens!"
If in the morning he meets classmates at the entrance and goes to school, and you go after him and try to foist sandwiches or apples, it looks ridiculous.
Soon your child will become the object of ridicule. Therefore, no matter how you want to show love and tenderness in public, do not do this. Otherwise, the child will not only be ashamed of you, he can hate you.
8. Invade a child’s life, solve his problems
When a child has problems, parents cannot stay away. Just before fleeing for help, ask your child if he agrees to accept it.
Sometimes parents commit rash acts. They run to deal with a teacher who undeservedly put "2" or with a classmate who raised his hand to their child.
Understand that the child wants to decide everything on his own. Remember yourself. What would you do if your mother went to the parents of Petya or Vasya, with whom you had a little fight?
The child feels like an adult, give him the opportunity to figure out his own life. Of course, you should not let everything go by its own accord. Look at the situation and do not intervene when it is completely unnecessary.
7. Mimic the behavior of friends of a child
It has already been noted above that some parents want to stay young. They dress fashionably, try to act like buddies. They hope that this behavior will bring them closer to their son or daughter, they will become not only parents, but also friends.
That's just in reality, everything happens in a completely different way. Such parents become the object of ridicule, the child begins to be ashamed of them.
His classmates and friends will laugh at you, the child will be between two fires. He will need to make a choice, and most likely he will make it not in your favor. Do not try to restore youth, behave according to your age.
6. Parenting professions
It is very difficult to find a way out of this situation. If a child is ashamed of the profession of parents, this greatly offends them, even hurts them. Mom and Dad no longer want to solve this problem, they feel offended. Still, parents work day and night to provide for themselves and their children, and they are ashamed of them.
In this situation, there is your fault. It is not that your profession is prestigious or low paid, but that you have poorly raised your child. Children who respect their parents will not be ashamed of their work.
You will have to wait out this period or try to change your life. You must always strive for the best, because children are your reflection. You will always be an example for them, good or bad, is up to you.
5. Make comments with outsiders
Even a small child should not make comments with outsiders. Most parents are not confused by the fact that they are in a crowded place, they begin to "teach life" to their son or daughter. Didn’t say so, didn’t do it ...
Before you say anything, think about it, could you say that to your husband, sister, girlfriend? Your child is the same person, it is unpleasant for him that you stage performances in public. If you have something to tell your child, do it at home.
4. A bunch of personal details and family history for friends of the child
Kids don't like parents having an evening of memories with their friends, girlfriends, or classmates. Outsiders do not need to know that your child first fell in love at two years old.
Do not talk about how long he accustomed to the pot or ate his hands for up to three years. These are intimate memories, let them stay in your family. You should not talk about them at every gala dinner.
This is unpleasant for your child, he feels like an adult, and here you are with your memories of the pot and the first steps. At such moments, he is ashamed of you, he is embarrassed in front of his friends.
Also, such memories can cause bullying. You don’t want your child to be teased?
3. Old fashioned
A child is ashamed of his parents if they try to be fashionable. Again, if they are far behind time, he will also be shy about them. If the wardrobe of the neighbor Maria Ivanovna, who is already over 80, is no different from yours, it’s worth considering.
Also, if you behave as if in the yard of the beginning of the XIX century, the child has reasons for shame. You can fix it if you want. Or talk with your child and say that it is your choice and you like a dress that was fashionable 50 years ago.
Separately, it should be said about dads and mothers, who are suitable for their child as grandparents by age. With all their wishes, they will not be able to become younger, but they love their child and want the best for him. In such a situation, one can only wait until the child grows up and understands this.
2. Actively live in social networks
Parents who actively use social networks can also become reasons that their child will be shy. If you can’t live without social networks, you love to like and write comments, do it, but not on the page of the child, his friends and classmates.
You will have to be a little more restrained regarding the records that you post, especially family photos, them only with the permission of all family members.
Before writing, posting or commenting on something, think about whether this will be the reason why the child begins to be shy.
1. Talk about your personal life.
Even if you consider your child a friend, you have a good relationship, you share the most secret, there is no need to overdo it. No need to touch on the topic of your sexual adventures, much less discuss it with your child's friends. In such a situation, many children simply do not know how to behave, what to say.
If it is customary in your family to talk about everything, then give your child the right to start “adult” conversations first. You can talk to him, but do not go into details.